Tuesday, January 12, 2010

the end...

Well this has been a disappointing couple of days.
Two weeks ago, after months of waiting we finally had our homestudy visit and walkthrough for fostering. Our references gave us glowing (really - seriously amazing - your confidence in us is so encouraging and validating) reviews and our social worker (who doesn't work for Winnipeg child and family - she was contracted the work because they were/are so far behind) had no problem with recommending we be licensed to foster.

I had one question throughout this whole process, which I have asked numerous people at CFS - Should I be applying to foster when I run a home daycare? And the answer that I consistently received was that it was up to the social worker who did the homestudy. So I am really disappointed to find that that's not the case after all and it really just comes down to numbers. It's not our social worker's decision at all.

I do agree that numbers should be considered and I purposely keep my daycare numbers low so I can enjoy the kids and not just endure each day. I have no issue with the fact that there are set numbers - I just don't understand why we weren't honestly told that it wouldn't work, before we invested in this.

Which means that all the forms we filled out, the doctor's visits we attended (and paid for forms signed) the minor renovations we completed, the friends we asked to be references, the months we waited and wondered when this would happen, the consideration we made about whether this was right for our family - could we handle another child? (yes) could we love a child we didn't give birth to? (yes - 8 years experience with daycare has shown me that I can) did we have room in our home and our hearts? (yes) and many more were really all for nothing.

Not doing daycare is really not an option for me right now. I love my job, and it is funding our adoption. We would not be able to pay cash for our adoption without my job and taking on debt is not something we are comfortable with. Also, the families I work with are amazing and their kids have become an extension of my own family. So my regret here is not my daycare, it is that I invested so much of my heart into fostering.

So, now I have to ask - what's next - this was more than a job, it was a ministry opportunity I was passionate about, and that fit into our lifestyle and family so well that I am at a loss for what to do next. It's incredibly disappointing and frustrating.


shannonhaywardphotography 11:36 AM  

OH hun! I am so sorry to hear that. You have to know that God has a plan throughout this even when it doesn't seem like it. I will pray that he shows you his plan sooner than later.

Anonymous 12:54 PM  

Lee, it is very frustrating when things like this happen. But there is a reason you went thru all of the process, it's just not visable right now. Can you challange the decision, to another case worker? Maybe you need to spear head a change in the "rules", maybe the rules are going to be changed and you will be at the top of the list.
But still very annoying!

Rudyvp 1:23 PM  

I'm sorry that things didn't work out the way you wanted. I think you would have made a fantastic foster mom. Big Hugs from Auntie Ruth

Jobina 1:38 PM  

Wow, that's frustrating! The little bit that I was in contact with "the system" I found that answers were never clear cut, and it really depended on who you talked to about stuff. I'm so sorry that this didn't work out because you (and Keith) would be great!
My first thought after reading this though, and please don't hate me for thinking this way, was "I wonder what God has in store for you if this door is now closed?" And I got all excited!
Praying for you!

Mrs. Bird 3:47 PM  

Oh my! I'm so sorry to hear this!! I can only imagine how disappointed you all are :(

Deborah 6:22 PM  

I'm sorry you weren't told the rules right up front. We can only have 2 children under two, or 3 children under 5, 4 foster children max, and 7 children in the home max including our own.
I don't know the rules for day care...but the two are so different. Kids coming into care are much more needy, so the rules do make sense...they should have let you know that.


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I am mom to 3 kids and in process to adopt another from Ethiopia. I run a home daycare for teacher's kids and enjoy taking pictures. I love God and I love my family! :)

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